Paper Dolls Galore!

Fashionable fun! You...yes, YOU!...can dress these and many more paper dolls...here!!! What are you waiting for?

Prowling for PAWS!

Leopards and Cougars and Boobies...oh, my! Lock up your cubs! This weekend, sexy Iva Handfull has gathered a pack o' cougarettes together for two nights of burlesque, comedy and variety...all to benefit homeless kitties and other fuzzy friends at PAWS! Needless to say, when she asked if I'd like to perform, I didn't pussyfoot around...I pounced at the opportunity!

I don't want to tell you too much about my performance yet...except that I'll be talking about my Pussy and singing about my Tits...now doesn't that sound interesting?? I'll also be revealing an eyeful! Inspired by my fish-eyes, I created a pair of glittery cats-eye pasties...


...meeeee-ow!

What Do I Do Now?

Howzabout we all enjoy this breezy burlesque number starring lovable Lucille Ball as that tempting tart, 'Tiger Lily White'? It'll blow you away!

Joints, Jah and Jeremy

Well, friends...things were really happenin' at Hempfest this weekend! Surprise Surprise! I was invited to be one of the backup singers for reggae star Selassie I Soldier! Good thing I donned my favorite sunny wig and brought the sunshine out on what was supposed to be a typically rainy Seattle summer Sunday!


Here's me and my pals Tamara and Lindsey glamourizing the Mainstage!






Wasn't Selassie gracious to pose for pictures when he would have much rather been eating his sandwich? By the way, has anyone seen my missing arm? I could have sworn I had it earlier that day...


Of course, the topper of the day for me was getting a peek at a Famous Penis...that of adult film legend, Ron Jeremy! Ron was introducing acts and so I was able to get up close......and personal! How personal, you ask? Well, not only was Ron cuddly...



...but candid, as well! Take a peek at the Famous Penis!!! Awesome!

Downtown In Belltown!

Get ready for Gams in action!! Thanks to Mr. Belltown contestant The Great Brendinni, I can now share a special clip from the Pageant with you! Here I am performing my version of Petula Clark's 'Downtown', which I rewrote as a tribute to one of my favorite places to drink in the world...a place that's been near and dear to my heart and my hangovers for over 30 years now...Seattle's fabulous Belltown!



Don't forget to check Brendinni's related Belltown Pageant videos!

Burlesque?

Okay, my friends...you all know by now that I'm one of the biggest burlesque fans out there, so forgive me for being negative...but...this movie really looks sucky. Cher is unbelievable, and I do mean un-believable...Stanley Tucci is out of his element, Kristen Bell...not sure yet...and as for Christina Aguilera...well, she probably shouldn't quit her day job, that's all I'm sayin'.
No hard feelings! I admit I'll go out and see this piece anyway, if only just to see Cher, because I really do love Cher and most of her movies, too...unfortunately, I suspect from the looks of the trailer that they've patched together scripts from every kid-from-small-town + city-lights = dreams-come-true movie ever made, found the latest onstage trend, i.e. burlesque, paid a few already overpaid celebrities to add a little pizzazz to yet another trite script...and called it good. Hmmph! Cher should know better!
Listen, friends...if you are truly curious about the 'Neo-Burlesque' scene and what discovering the world of burlesque is like, look no further than *A Wink and A Smile* by Seattle filmmaker Deirdre Timmons...you can even rent it today on Netflix! Deirdre has experienced for herself the thrills and challenges of being on the burlesque stage.

If you want to see Hollywood's (and This Guy's) idea of what discovering the world of burlesque is like, then go see the movie they call *Burlesque*! Chances are it could be better than I predict...but don't say I didn't warn you.

Girls of Summers Gone By...

The Wide-Brimmed Hat 1933



The Pink Shirt 1927



Woman With A Green Glove 1928



High Summer 1928



Woman With Dove 1931



Young Lady With Gloves 1930



The Straw Hat 1930




Portraits by Tamara de Lempicka

The Blonde and the Beefcake

More blonde ambition! Here we have Vanessa misusing the gym equipment and her beefy bodybuilding buddies, who seem to be getting a kick out of it all...well, most of 'em, anyway. It's true she looks totally trendy with her electric green shorts and sequinned sweatbands...but can you imagine how annoyed the patrons at my local GOLD'S Gym would be if I tried a stunt like this? It's surely a recipe for danger...and I don't just mean the danger of stiffies in spandex! I'm begging you, girls and boys, it may look like all fun and games, but please don't try this at your local gym, GOLD'S or otherwise!

In Bed with Nina

What a lovely Saturday to spend in bed with a pre-punk Nina Hagen! Who cares if she has the sniffles? This has sort of a burlesque feel to it, don'tcha think? Too bad they had to cut a chunk off the end, but it's still lovable enough to post.

Blonde Ambition

They say blondes have more fun. I'm not sure that's always the case (look at Martha Stewart)..but, I do know that I always have more fun when I'm having fun in my big bad blonde wig! Take for instance this last Sunday night at the 5th Annual Belltown Pageant! Gettaloada me, your pal Gams, posing with contestants Anita Goodmann, Lana Lure and oh! so perfectly perfect Missss California! Now there's some blonde ambition for ya!


Looks like there was a run on peroxide...


And nothing says "ambition" like volunteering to be a fluffer...here's a snap of me and contestant, Charlie Savage Monroe, doing some pre-pageant preparations. Isn't this a great pic? Actually, we did some mutual fluffing that night...he did my hair and I did his merkins...front and rear!


I'm proud to say, my friends, that I walked away with the Second Prize Trophy again this year! Along with last year's silver stunner, they make quite a statement on the back of my royal throne.


I'm sure you're just dying to see all the pageant excitement, so I've put together a little slideshow of the contestants and their performances. Unfortunately, the camera ran outta juice halfway through the show, so you won't see the outcome here...but I understand that this night of music, merkins and madness was filmed, so I promise to post it as soon as I can. Meanwhile, please enjoy these highlights and see if you can guess who won the coveted First Place titles of Mr. Belltown and Belltown Betty 2010!

slideshow | Viewer

Photos by Jackie Kingsbury & Anita Goodmann...slideshow pics by Johnny...trophy pics by moi

Prêt à Poisson

What the carp is this all about? Well, here in Seattle we are in the midst of Seafair, our annual summer celebration. Festivities always include a big-ass parade with Seafair Pirates and Clowns and hydroplane races on Lake Washington. Keeping with this fine local tradition, this weekend The Swedish Housewife presented the First Annual Seafarer Follies at Seattle's Triple Door, and I was on hand to enjoy the nautical naughtiness! So, I'm swimming by to show you the costume I created especially for this event...just call me DeAnn Chovy.

The costume idea started with this crazy hat...totally slapped together with craft foam and wire, then covered with this amazammamazing fabric I just discovered...Metalskin or Liquid lame! This stuff is a pleasure to work with! It doesn't fray, wrinkle, slide, or make a mess! It hugs where it needs to hug and drapes where it needs to drape. Even putting in the zipper was a piece of cake...I want more! more! more! in every color! I'm hooked!


Since this silvery skin is so sea-worthy, I whipped together a quickie version of my classic one-shouldered gown, angling the hem to form a sort of fish head shape.


I created the eyes out of sequins...those gold iridescents really add depth...get it?? Depth?


I trimmed everything with sea-green sequins, added some craft-foam seagrass betwixt me toes...silvery green nail polish, eye shadows and lipstick...


Not that I'm fishing for compliments or anything, but don't you find me al-luring?? I think I made quite a splash!

Les Filles des Familles

...le jeu avec un chaque jour de la semaine!








Trouvé ici...along with a gazillion other vintage French trésors en papier!