Sew On and Sew Forth

Hey, you curious crafters...let's take a peek inside my adorable vintage sewing basket! Why? Because I said 'sew'!

It once belonged to good ol' Granny Galore and has been lovingly cared for over the years.

Oooh...pale pink silk lining!

Stuffed with goodies!

I'm nuts over pearl buttons!

They don't make 'em like they used to...

Lady Alice understands...

Wooden spools of silk thread and well-worn vintage thimbles...

The 'SUCRETS' tin has a secret...

Sparkling rhinestone and pearl buttons!

And a couple random flowers made from scraps and such...

Little Red Riding Hood has a secret, too...

Which suits her to etui!

Fantasy Aprons!

Darlings, have you heard the news? After many years of being a devoted Lady of Leisure, I've just acquired an actual DAY JOB....!!...I know!!  And the main reason it's taken me so long is that there are only a few places that a bona-fide slacker like me would care to engage work. I needed to find a place of inspiration, imagination, color and creative expression! Most importantly...cubicle-free! Something like...a fabulous fabric store, perhaps, where I spend a lot of time anyway? And...it happened! I'm on the job and loving the creative environment, where shelves upon shelves of quilting fabrics are as close as I get to a cubicle.

Inspiration overload and a plethora of gorgeous fabrics, from fancy to fantastic, have motivated me to start designing a few Fantasy Aprons! All those wonderful cocktail and teatime aprons were so popular in the 40's and 50's...but with the dawn of the dishwasher, they just disappeared into the thrift-store racks. Why, oh why? I think it's time to bring them back, don't you?? Thankfully, major pattern companies are reproducing some vintage patterns too cute to forget! Remember my fancy pink satin apron?

It's a vintage-inspired pattern and that's just the type of thing I had in mind...creations of silk, satin, lace, tulle, and gadzooks!!...of course...organza!! The possibilities are endless, I tell ya! So, I have the basic pattern but decided to drum up and dream up a few style ideas from the humble apron's glory days...f'rinstance......

How about a blue-green opalescent dupioni silk with an overskirt of beaded aqua lace? Striped black organza with a scarlet flower applique? A deep blue duchess satin with ruffles the color of the sea, adorned with iridescent Swarovski crystals?? Pearls! Rhinestone appliques! Beaded trims! Aaaarghhh! I'm practically paralyzed with not knowing where to start! But as soon as I do, I promise I'll be sharing the Fahn-ta-see! Anyone for hors d'oeuvres?

Real Housewives

Darlings, I'm sorry to have neglected you...I've been elbow-deep in a sewing project this week, making a costume for this Friday night's Academy of Burlesque Alumni Spectacular : The Real Housewives of Burlesque!

This show is especially exciting, since I'll be sharing a stage with that absolutely fabulous boylesque sensation, Waxie Moon...as well as one of my favorite hosts, Elsa Von Schmaltz (Ernie's twin sister!)...and, of course, a bevy of burlesque beauties! Truth be told, I'm not sure how many of us are actually 'Real' housewives. I used to be one...not so much anymore, but those days of kiddie-coddling, floor-scrubbing and dinner-making still linger fondly in my memory......

So what else would I costume myself in but every housewife's favorite fashion...an apron? Not just any apron, mind you...but a sparkling pink satin one...inspired by a cake, of all things!

The pattern is a cute trompe-l'oeil design that appears to be a dress with an apron tied over it...perfect! I just happened to have a remnant of 'Schiapparelli Pink' satin charmeuse on hand, which I teamed up with pale pink satin and some glittery candy pink netting.

How could I resist these sparkly pale pink glass buttons??

I've gotta tell you, this project was pretty freakin' complicated for something seemingly as simple as an apron, but I hung in there...and the results are worth it! Here she is...fit for a princess!

She's much too pretty to do any Real housework...but then again, so am I!

Oh, and did I mention that I won't be wearing a stitch under this except possibly a teeny-tiny g-string in Shocking Pink? Back in the day, wearing this type of thing around the house might have saved me a marriage or two! Wink!

Dotty Betty

It's that time of year again, darlings...time for the 6th Annual Belltown Pageant!! This will be my third try competing for the title of Belltown Betty...an honor in itself, made even more appealing with an astounding array of cash and prizes, including the coveted Belltown Betty hand-painted jacket!

Between you and me, kidz, I gave it my all last year...what an act! And lately I've been clueless how to top that act...running dangerously high on stress and low on inspiration. So, I told myself....just relax! Don't try too hard this year...the whole production is shamelessly fixed anyway...the judges are too easily swayed by alcoholic favors and over the course of the pageant become too drunk to think logically or get a correct count on the ballots. Just be happy you've taken home 2nd Place trophies the last 2 years...the whole thing is just one big drunk joke!

Still, how could I stop myself from making a statement...and a costume...and trying too hard?

I composed an appropriately delightful ditty and dance for the occasion, set to a jazzy little rendition of that old favorite, Blue Moon. And as for the evening's costume, I designed a sexy dress out of what was supposed to be a top (McCall's M6078)...

I couldn't resist this stretchy black polyester with stunning silver polka-dots! This design has a cowl neck with silver leather loops...how great does it look with my silver leather trench?? Heigh-ho!

Add a pair of black spike heels with silver linings. Now all that's needed is a fedora with a silver band! Wish me luck at this year's Pageant, darlings...keep your fingers, toes and eyes crossed and VOTE FOR GAMS!

IN GAMS WE TRUST

Fast Fashion

Last night's Seattle Erotic Art Festival was one helluva swanky, spanky party...I've never seen so many corsets in one room...and this glamorous gal was sportin' one of 'em! Matter of fact, I'm terriblehhh proud of the costume I threw together at the last minute with only pennies to spare!

Fortunately, I just happened to have some beautiful fabric laying around...sheer black georgette with a shimmering velvety red rose print...

...which I turned into a long split skirt. I cut a couple extra scraps of it and covered the cups of my black strapless bra...just a few hand stitches around the edge so I can undo it later.

I took another scrap and wrapped it around a little plastic hat form to make a tiny pillbox with a big red feather!

Next, my trusty black satin corset that I got at least ten years ago...one of those wardrobe investments that just keeps paying off! Black fishnets...long black gloves...my favorite boots...a vintage black velvet capelet...sparkly red earrings...red lipstick...a glass of white wine....et voilà!

Gamalamadingdong!

Lounge Liz

What's every fashionable lounge lizard wearing this season? Why, green satin animal print, of course...in this case, trimmed with cuddly black pompoms!

This is my signature off-the-shoulder glamorous gown, gone green for Saint Patty's Day...and for corn sake, a matchin' wee tam!

Liz the Lounge Lizard can't get over the psychedelic variations of green in this fabric! It's a semi-stretchy polyester that was a dream to work with, despite it's slippery side...

Yesssss...it fits like a second skin! Aren't you just green with envy?

I'm guessin' this green gown is gonna be perfect for the shenanigans I'll be up to next Saturday night at Mitzy's Ditzy Glitzy Variety Show...Erin-Go-Braless!...a part of Seattle's Open Circle Theatre Late Nites program, where I'll be performing my version of that old Irish favorite, Tipsy....hic!

Sunday Stitch-N-Bitch!

Craft a cute camisole out of two li'l ol' hankies! 

Doggie Style

Hot dog! Fabulous Fall Fashions for Fifi and Fido! Whatever your mood...fun, fierce, ferocious or fabulous...you'll be the talk of the sidewalk in these glamorous capes! Whatever the weather...you'll have four feet firmly planted in style!

Step out for a fashionable morning jog in this sporty jacket!

Cozy gray and black fleece lined with smooth black crepe...accented with grosgrain ribbon and a personalized monogram!

It's off to lunch and shopping in this classic, tailored style!

A sensual combination of creamy fleece and shimmery snakeskin...accented with black piping and one-of-a-kind vintage buttons!

Chilly evenings on the town call for a little warmth...and a little glitz!

Soft gray fleece with a silky-smooth white lining...trimmed with fluffy white faux-fur and sparkling silver accents!

Shaggy Scheherezade may dream of wearing this for a Thousand and One Nights!

Rich purple and gold brocade backed by antique gold silk...vintage gold buttons add interest to an already unusual, tri-point collar!

Friends, although I don't own a dog, I do like dogs...and I've had a few in my life over the years...but never a cute little doggie that I could dress up! Some people don't approve of that type of thing, but I believe that certain dogs really do enjoy trying people-things like wearing clothes. Naturally, I don't condone forcing your dog into cross-dressing...nor do I condone irresponsible pet fashion...I think you know what I mean! If there are fashion police, there should be fashion dog-catchers, too! Above all, I don't need to remind you that these fashions are not recommended for cats...as any dog will tell you, cats have absolutely no fashion sense whatsoever. Take the family cat, Woody, for example...barely a shred of class.

In any case, my friend Frank has a cute little dog, Jasmine, that seems to like wearing clothes...or do pretty much anything to get attention...so when I found this marvelous book at my local library, I encouraged Frank to let me create a little coat that Jasmine could wear on her daily walks.

Many of Cathie's wonderfully creative styles were a little over-the-top for Frank's (and supposedly, Jasmine's) taste...but he was asking the wrong person to tone it down! The creations you see above, which I consider toned-down, were stitched together (in record time!) from fabric scraps I had laying around anyway...and since they turned out so cute, it's got me begging for more and running around in circles digging up more scraps!

Whether you have a furry friend all your own, have a friend with a furry friend, or are just another fan of Doggie Style, you should sniff around for this fun book on-line or at your local bookstore! Find more clever ideas by checking out Cathie's blog!

Prêt à Poisson

What the carp is this all about? Well, here in Seattle we are in the midst of Seafair, our annual summer celebration. Festivities always include a big-ass parade with Seafair Pirates and Clowns and hydroplane races on Lake Washington. Keeping with this fine local tradition, this weekend The Swedish Housewife presented the First Annual Seafarer Follies at Seattle's Triple Door, and I was on hand to enjoy the nautical naughtiness! So, I'm swimming by to show you the costume I created especially for this event...just call me DeAnn Chovy.

The costume idea started with this crazy hat...totally slapped together with craft foam and wire, then covered with this amazammamazing fabric I just discovered...Metalskin or Liquid lame! This stuff is a pleasure to work with! It doesn't fray, wrinkle, slide, or make a mess! It hugs where it needs to hug and drapes where it needs to drape. Even putting in the zipper was a piece of cake...I want more! more! more! in every color! I'm hooked!


Since this silvery skin is so sea-worthy, I whipped together a quickie version of my classic one-shouldered gown, angling the hem to form a sort of fish head shape.


I created the eyes out of sequins...those gold iridescents really add depth...get it?? Depth?


I trimmed everything with sea-green sequins, added some craft-foam seagrass betwixt me toes...silvery green nail polish, eye shadows and lipstick...


Not that I'm fishing for compliments or anything, but don't you find me al-luring?? I think I made quite a splash!