There's No Balls Like Snowballs

Hello darlings! The holiday season just wouldn't be the same without a Snowball Fight with Jesus, and that's exactly what we did yesterday afternoon during a special matinee Match Game Re-bar! Your pal Gams was dressed for the occasion...of course! How do you like my polka-dot mini-apron that I stitched together the night before? Cute, huh? I even remembered my mittens!

So, do you think 2 pm on a Sunday is a good time to start the drinks flowing? "Yeth, indeedy!", according to my companion, Dr. Preacher Col. Rufus T. Harenutt, Esquire!
For those about to snowball Jesus, we salute you!!

Our snowballs were only made of foam, but it was certainly a thrill when I beamed good ol' Hay-soos directly in the noggin, almost knocking off his thorny crown! (Don't worry...I'm sure there's no permanent harm.) And, thank God, He really liked my special song written for the occasion...would you like to hear it? Too bad...you only get the lyrics, but if you happen to know that holiday favorite "Have A Holly Jolly Christmas", go ahead and sing along!

It's a snowball fight with Jesus
It's naughty but it's nice...
It's not untoward to hit the Lord
With rock-hard balls of ice!

It's a snowball fight with Jesus
If you think you've got the nerve...
Then Holy Fuck, you'd better duck
He throws a wicked curve!

Yo-ho! The yellow snow! found under a tree
Roll it into a ball, throw it at J.C.!

It's a snowball fight with Jesus
And in case I wasn't clear...
It's alright to have a snowball fight with Jesus this year!

Mwahhhs! to my pal Tamara for the great pics!
Lyrics copyright 2011 Gams Galore

20K DAY! YAY!

THE GOLDEN GULLET

I'm 20,000 Days Under I-5...
I'm 20,000 Days Under I-5
I've been around the block and I've talked a lotta talk
I've eaten lotsa pizza and I've sucked a lotta cock
I'm much too young to die
But I'm not too old to rock...
I'm 20,000 Days Under I-5 !!

I've had a couple kids, a couple homes, a couple exes...
I've had affairs with those of a couple different sexes
I've been to France and Amsterdam
But I've never been to Texas...
I'm 20,000 Days Under I-5 !!

I once was an executive, for awhile I was a ho...
But I try to keep on smiling where'er my road may go...
I've been featured in a movie
And in many a burlesque show...
I'm 20,000 Days Under I-5 !!

I'm 20,000 Days Under I-5
And I guess I'm pretty lucky to still be alive...
I've tripped on LSD and PCP, Quaaludes and cocaine
I've smoked for over 30 years in this Seattle rain
But I feel like a million bucks
So I really can't complain...
I'm 20,000 Days...20,000 DAYS! (where'd the time go??)
20,000 Days Under I-5 !!

The Golden Gullet designed and photographed by Sam of Dynamite Cocktails...edible golden glitter courtesy of Veronica De Ville!

My Heart Belongs To...

I may indulge
most every bulge
that seems to point in my direction...

But as of late
I hesitate
with where to place my affection...

I simply can't deny
There is one special guy........



Dedicated to the man, the myth, the moustache...Ernie Von Schmaltz!

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wig?

This one goes out to Lady Clairol...



(Mein Herr: originally written by John Kander & Fred Ebb...made just a little bit better by Gams Galore)

El Drunko Grande

Vermina y yo cantamos una pequeña canción festiva para Cinco De Mayo...



Amor y XOXOXO! Gams

Be Mine...

...Valentine!!! xoxoxoxoxoxo

Rub-A-Dub-Dub!

...Gams in the tub!

Happy New Year!

It's New Year's Eve, so why don't we get a little Tipsy? I'm following the tradition of really terrible karaoke videos...so join me in a sing-along, won't you? Just follow the bouncing ball! What's that? You don't see the bouncing ball?? Well, then you've probably had one too many already! Yay! Happy New Year!