Scandal!

My pal Dr.Steve has been at it again! Through the magic of photo developing, innocent pics of local kids at play, taken around Belltown...including the night of my Grotto-A-Go-Go party, where he captured Fifi Kalamata leading the Conga line!...have developed into seemingly more scandalous snaps....Look!

Party Bus!

Hey! Who wants to ride the Halloween Roller Bowl Party Bus? It's a rockin' schoolbus we can drink on while we ride 16.4 miles from Belltown to the practically historic Lynnwood Bowl & Skate in fabulous Lynnwood, Washington! Come on, everybody! Our driver, Mr.McFondle, is waiting!

Don't look so worried! And don't bother buckling your safety belts, kidz...because there aren't any! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!!  Par-ty Bus! Par-ty Bus!!

Let's get this party started! Pass the Fireball!

Everybody just loves getting their picture taken during the ride! Well, almost everybody...

Whew! We made it! That was a piece o'cake!

What'd I say?? Sheesh...you're kinda crabby for such a cute cupcake!

Big-time wrestler and bowler Ronald McFondle found his favorite ball of all! This one's for the kiddies!

But why bother bowling and skating when you could be drinking and eating yummy nachos? Rockin!

What?? Time to go already? We've gotta get the Bus back to Belltown by midnight or it will turn back into a pumpkin? Hey, wait up!

The rhythm of the road puts everybody to sleep on the way home! All that bowlin', skatin' and Party-Bussin' can wear a kid out!

Well, that sure was fun, wasn't it? See ya next year!

Who's Afraid...

...of the Big Bad Wig??

Just Another Night...

...at SALON!! Yay!



I'm the one in the pillbox hat!

Cherry Sur Bete

A tasty treat for any season...any occasion!

SPRING

SUMMER

FALL

WINTER



CHERRY BLOSSOM TIME


Yummy!

20K DAY! YAY!

THE GOLDEN GULLET

I'm 20,000 Days Under I-5...
I'm 20,000 Days Under I-5
I've been around the block and I've talked a lotta talk
I've eaten lotsa pizza and I've sucked a lotta cock
I'm much too young to die
But I'm not too old to rock...
I'm 20,000 Days Under I-5 !!

I've had a couple kids, a couple homes, a couple exes...
I've had affairs with those of a couple different sexes
I've been to France and Amsterdam
But I've never been to Texas...
I'm 20,000 Days Under I-5 !!

I once was an executive, for awhile I was a ho...
But I try to keep on smiling where'er my road may go...
I've been featured in a movie
And in many a burlesque show...
I'm 20,000 Days Under I-5 !!

I'm 20,000 Days Under I-5
And I guess I'm pretty lucky to still be alive...
I've tripped on LSD and PCP, Quaaludes and cocaine
I've smoked for over 30 years in this Seattle rain
But I feel like a million bucks
So I really can't complain...
I'm 20,000 Days...20,000 DAYS! (where'd the time go??)
20,000 Days Under I-5 !!

The Golden Gullet designed and photographed by Sam of Dynamite Cocktails...edible golden glitter courtesy of Veronica De Ville!

Mighty Contrite!

Forgive me, for I can't believe I've neglected you this long, my loved ones! It's just that I've been so darn busy lately with a multitude of shows and other personal appearances...you know, all those hardware store openings, baptisms and wedding receptions...plus, it's my busy season for bar mitzvahs...then there's my weekly gig at the local senior center's Bingo/Karaoke night...always a wild time there, I gotta tell ya! With all that, writing a couple new songs and creating a few new additions to my wardrobe...well, I'm sorry, but I just haven't had time to blog...not to mention I've also been deeply involved of late in conducting my own personal experiment to see how much time can be wasted on Facebook...the results are astonishing, to say the least!

At least I have something to show for all this...a whole buncha new pals and some pictures to share with you!

This past Saturday night was my opportunity to wear that glittering gold gown I was telling you about, thanks to my pal Mitzy Sixx...

...and Mitzy's Ditzy Glitzy Variety Show, where I sang one of my most tender love songs, Did You Just Cut A Fart?

Gettaloada that glitz...that glamour...that Golden Gullet!!

Speaking of Golden Gullets, I've also been crazy bizzy planning my upcoming party, Gams Galore's 20,000 Days Under I-5! As of today, I've been alive 19,992 days...and having fun working with Sam of Dynamite Cocktails to compose a G-themed drink menu, including my signature drink, The Golden Gullet! Here's what we've planned so far...

The Golden Gullet ~ Gin, Grapefruit Juice, Grenadine, Ginger Syrup and (edible) golden glitter (Sam makes his own Grenadine, Ginger Syrup and bitters...and they are amazing!)
G-Spots ~ Shots of Fireball...crushed PopRocks around the rim optional
Glitter Shots ~ Limoncello Jello shots with golden glitter
G-Rated ~ Sparkling Golden Cider

So that takes care of the drinking...as for the dancing, I've been compiling remixes of some of my favorite 80's disco dance hits...my darling DJ Gio (named appropriately enough) will be rockin' the house!

I'm terribly excited that a few other friends have said they'd like to perform, as well...I'm soooo lucky to know soooo many talented people!

And prizes! Did I tell you I'll be giving away an amazing array of interesting items, specially selected from my own lifetime accumulation...that's 20,000 days worth of shit! Guests must answer trivia questions...about me, natch...to win these collectibles, but it's all good stuff though...all good...and possibly worth money on eBay! And of course I've written a special musical dedication, this time for myself...that I plan to debut that evening (and that I will share with you in due time, darlings!)  All that and more, with the help of a few wonderful friends...it's shaping up to be a magical evening!

I have so much more to tell you, darlings...as well as some more pictures I'm just dying to share...so I will be back tomorrow, and I promise I won't ever stay away from you so long again! XO!

Perfection!

Blonde Ambition in action, darlings! Here's an exclusive preview of various activities which may or may not occur at my upcoming 20,000th Day Alive Party... only 24 days away! YAY! Can't wait to dance my 20,000-day-old ass off to this one!

Salon, Darlings!

A few of my posters promoting our weekly speakeasy...Salon!

(Thanks for this final image, dear Thombeau!)

Halloween Hijinx 2010

I hope all of you had a fun, safe, and reasonably sane Halloween weekend! My party of choice was chosen mostly because I was invited to perform, and when I heard the "p" word, it immediately negated any and all other plans for the evening!

Then, when I found out that Ernie Von Schmaltz...the man, the myth, the moustache...was also going to be featured, I was inspired to write a little song...or I should say, re-write a little song ~ My Heart Belongs to Ernie ~ using Ella Fitzgerald's My Heart Belongs to Daddy...I must say, it turned out pretty darn cute and I think Ernie appreciated it, too...I love surprising friends!

If you've seen the best documentary on earth...A Wink and A Smile...you might remember Ernie's performance as a hip-thrusting, martini-shaking, medallion-swinging ladies' man. If you missed it, here is the Classic Ernie!



No matter where he plays or who he plays to, Ernie captures the audience's hearts as he did mine...hence my moving tribute! And since you asked...yes! I am going to be making a cute and cuddly home video to go with my song...I'll be sharing that with you soon!

Aaanyway, as for the rest of the evening, Shaggy and Gammy-Do started things off right by passing around everybody's favorite party treat...Scooby Snax! As you can see, we'd already munched a few on the way over in the Mystery Machine......

Another cookie distributor that evening was my fabulous hairstylist, Lisa, who was enjoying recreating her younger years as a dedicated Girl Scout from Troop 420.......

Then there was this guy...who did he think he was gonna fool with the old "I'm a dandelion, make a wish and blow me" routine??

Not me, that's for sure! I wasn't falling for it one minute...so, you shoulda seen him...he got all puffed up and blew off in a huff!

And since an occasion like Halloween calls for at least one costume change...halfway through the evening I quick-changed into my favorite flapper dress with a big orange boa...

...and Lulu Ukulele! Aren't I kooky-spooky in orange and black?