The Sweet Taste of Victory!

...and the trophy wasn't bad either!

Belltown Betty, Baby!

Yes! It's true, my darlings! The coveted Belltown Betty jacket and crown are mine, all mine!

What an exciting night! What an unforgettable victory...what I can remember of it, anyway! The competition...fueled on alcohol and crack...was fierce, but I managed to squeak by on the popular vote, just edging out the oh-so-attractive "Snatch Crackaa" (my kooky pal Ruby Rouge) who immediately fell to her knees before me and pledged her allegiance, as you can almost see in this snippet of video...

And here's a victory photo of this year's Belltown Pageant royalty...Mr.Belltown ~ Kaleb Kerr and Belltown Betty ~ Gams Galore! As you can see, we are both thrilled beyond belief!

After spreading love around to all my loyal subjects, I managed to find some time to gather with friends at a local Belltown watering hole and celebrate, along with one of my very favorite people, my beautiful daughter, Teela!

Dotty Betty

It's that time of year again, darlings...time for the 6th Annual Belltown Pageant!! This will be my third try competing for the title of Belltown Betty...an honor in itself, made even more appealing with an astounding array of cash and prizes, including the coveted Belltown Betty hand-painted jacket!

Between you and me, kidz, I gave it my all last year...what an act! And lately I've been clueless how to top that act...running dangerously high on stress and low on inspiration. So, I told myself....just relax! Don't try too hard this year...the whole production is shamelessly fixed anyway...the judges are too easily swayed by alcoholic favors and over the course of the pageant become too drunk to think logically or get a correct count on the ballots. Just be happy you've taken home 2nd Place trophies the last 2 years...the whole thing is just one big drunk joke!

Still, how could I stop myself from making a statement...and a costume...and trying too hard?

I composed an appropriately delightful ditty and dance for the occasion, set to a jazzy little rendition of that old favorite, Blue Moon. And as for the evening's costume, I designed a sexy dress out of what was supposed to be a top (McCall's M6078)...

I couldn't resist this stretchy black polyester with stunning silver polka-dots! This design has a cowl neck with silver leather loops...how great does it look with my silver leather trench?? Heigh-ho!

Add a pair of black spike heels with silver linings. Now all that's needed is a fedora with a silver band! Wish me luck at this year's Pageant, darlings...keep your fingers, toes and eyes crossed and VOTE FOR GAMS!

IN GAMS WE TRUST

Downtown In Belltown!

Get ready for Gams in action!! Thanks to Mr. Belltown contestant The Great Brendinni, I can now share a special clip from the Pageant with you! Here I am performing my version of Petula Clark's 'Downtown', which I rewrote as a tribute to one of my favorite places to drink in the world...a place that's been near and dear to my heart and my hangovers for over 30 years now...Seattle's fabulous Belltown!



Don't forget to check Brendinni's related Belltown Pageant videos!

Blonde Ambition

They say blondes have more fun. I'm not sure that's always the case (look at Martha Stewart)..but, I do know that I always have more fun when I'm having fun in my big bad blonde wig! Take for instance this last Sunday night at the 5th Annual Belltown Pageant! Gettaloada me, your pal Gams, posing with contestants Anita Goodmann, Lana Lure and oh! so perfectly perfect Missss California! Now there's some blonde ambition for ya!


Looks like there was a run on peroxide...


And nothing says "ambition" like volunteering to be a fluffer...here's a snap of me and contestant, Charlie Savage Monroe, doing some pre-pageant preparations. Isn't this a great pic? Actually, we did some mutual fluffing that night...he did my hair and I did his merkins...front and rear!


I'm proud to say, my friends, that I walked away with the Second Prize Trophy again this year! Along with last year's silver stunner, they make quite a statement on the back of my royal throne.


I'm sure you're just dying to see all the pageant excitement, so I've put together a little slideshow of the contestants and their performances. Unfortunately, the camera ran outta juice halfway through the show, so you won't see the outcome here...but I understand that this night of music, merkins and madness was filmed, so I promise to post it as soon as I can. Meanwhile, please enjoy these highlights and see if you can guess who won the coveted First Place titles of Mr. Belltown and Belltown Betty 2010!

slideshow | Viewer

Photos by Jackie Kingsbury & Anita Goodmann...slideshow pics by Johnny...trophy pics by moi

It's Betty Buy Time!

Oh, the things I've been doing in my glamorous gown! I must apologize, my friends...I realize I never updated you on it's progress, and I'm sure you were simply sleepless wondering what became of it! Well, you'll be happy to know, it did make it to Hollywood, and, although it wasn't perfect, it passed muster and I wore it to the premiere party for A Wink and A Smile, held at the fabulously naughty boutique, Coco de Mer on Melrose in LA! It looked great and I admit, I received a compliment or two...isn't that fun? After all the trouble I had making it...some frustrating shit, lemme tell ya...it turned out to be a wonder of a dress! The material was virtually wrinkle-free and traveled beautifully, even folded sloppily in my suitcase. So I'm willing to forget our differences and move on...which brings me to this epistle...

That very glamorous gown was worn last night at the 4th Annual Belltown Pageant! I was lucky enough to be one of the competitors, matched against rivals like my pal EmpeROAR Fabulous! Yes, friends, it was a haven of hilarity at the historic Rendezvous JewelBox Theatre in Belltown (that's Belltown in Seattle, folks, in case you didn't guess.) Anyway, what a bunch'a nuts! Mayhem ensued. Partying in the green room got out of control! Meanwhile, I *brewed up* my version of that old Sammy Davis Jr. favorite, *I Gotta Be Me*...my version, of course, is *I Gotta Drink Tea*...and I brewed the perfect cup of tea in hand while performing! It was a crowd pleaser, for sure, but I didn't win...I know, I know...However! I did get second place, and took home a snazzy silver beauty queen trophy, cash and prizes...I couldn't be happier! So, somebody resurrect Bert Parks, because...here she is...Miss Betty Buy Time!