Long time no see, you darling darlings, you! I haven't dropped off the planet quite yet...it's just that I was sooooo busy putting together my first solo show...
...which I'm thrilled to say went swimmingly...despite last-minute difficulties! It was so much fun, in fact, that I'm going to try doing it again in a couple months, hopefully with better attendance......ahem.
Aaaaanyway...the show centered around the
UNAUTHORIZED Story of My Life, set to eight of my biggest top-forty hits!! (Well, they
should be top-forty hits!)
Lucky for you, I can share a little bit of the
Galore Lore with you right here and now! Here are the pictures I shared from
My Golden Gams Memory Album...chockful of
Golden Gams Memories!! You'll just have to imagine me singing, ok?
Let's begin at the beginning, shall we?? Here's my baby picture...
You can already see the confusion in my eyes, can't you? It wasn't an easy childhood folks...raised on the mean streets...of
Mercer Island, Washington...(the
South End!)...nothing but trouble there...
As a youngster, I was put in the luggage compartment of a Greyhound bus bound for Hollywood...where a kindly television family, who happened to have their own bus, discovered me and took me in...
...but only until the season was over...then, of course, the old story...shuffled from one family to another...
...and another...
Fortunately, the one thing I had going for me this whole time were my
extremely well-developed leg muscles...which is why, of course, they called me
Gams Galore!!
But these gams were made for walkin', folks...and soon enough I found myself back on the streets. I did a little modeling for awhile...
...I even did a Santa Clause gig one long, cold winter...
But, rough as they were...the streets are where I learned most of my seductive skills and vampy ways! So it wasn't a total loss.
Yet, even us vamps can fall prey to Cupid's Arrow when it goes whizzing by...and sure enough, wouldn't you know I'd fall
head over heels crazy nuts in love with
exactly the
wrong guy!
I don't know what I was thinking...I knew it would never work! Why did I have to go there??..Even today his presence haunts me!
But...time heals all wounds and I did end up meeting and marrying a nice, clean-cut Man with a Mullet...
Yes, Mullet...(I always called him Mullet)...and I were very happy together for many years...he got me to finally settle down long enough to have a few kids! Here's a picture of them when they were youngsters...
See that family resemblance?? Uncanny. Motherhood was wonderful, of course...my only regret is that those crazy kids and their breastfeeding frenzies sucked the life right outta my tits! In fact...just look at this "Before" picture of my breasts back in the day...
I can't even come close to that now...even with the proper foundation garments! Pitiful...
Oh well...time and tits march on. And now that the kiddies are all grown and have flown the coop to follow their own dreams, I've had a chance to concentrate on
my own singing career, and realize my lifelong dream of following the Pageant Circuit! As you may remember...until this August, at least...I am still the reigning
Queen of Belltown, your
Belltown Betty!
So, that brings us up to the present time, friends...and I look forward to a happy future ahead of me. I'll be turning 56 this year and am already thrilling to the joy of senior discounts!
It's good to be
Gams!
