My Hero

Let's go back in time...stopping in the 80s, when late-night 'Aerobicise'  videos were all the rage...but not exactly for their commitment to ergonomics (wink, wink!)

Here's a classic example...but I don't recommend actually trying it...not only could you do irrepairable damage to your spine...you could take somebody's eye out with these moves!

No...let's keep going back further...back to the 60's, when American housewives were too busy making babies and keeping house to get out and hit the gym...besides, back then, gyms were dreary, noisy sweaty places filled with grunting, sweaty men. What to do? A personal trainer? Pretty much unheard of back then...but through the magic of Television...Jack LaLanne  to the rescue!

Francois Henri "Jack" LaLanne  has been called "the godfather of fitness" and the "first fitness superhero." And he certainly paved the way for fitness at home. Lonely wives simply adored this down-to-earth Frenchman..his ballet slippers confirmed that he was in touch with his feminine side (so European!) and could easily relate to women. The only thing missing was a seductive French accent ala Pepe Le Pew...but Jack had more class than that! And there he was...this fine figure of a man, inviting you into his living room (a popular TV gimmick back then) to join him in trying his 'Trimnastics'! (As a kid, I always figured that lovely mountain scene behind him was his real backyard...now I'm not so sure.)

Just look how buff he was back in the days before the term 'buff' was coined...





Jack was probably the first one EVER to introduce facial exercises. He knew they looked silly, too, but encouraged us to not let feeling silly interfere with becoming more beautiful! I could give the same advice...and you'll see why when I introduce you to COUGARCIZE! A little silliness makes everything more fun! So, let's get inspired right now by watching the very first episode of the Jack LaLanne Show!

Bye Bye Annette

Darlings, I was so sad to hear of Annette Funicello's passing today...she was always sort of an idol of mine as a child growing up in the 60's...so R.I.P. Annette...and thanks for taking your part in molding me into the charming, smiling, delightfully talented and unassuming character I am today!!!!

Now, chances are, you didn't grow up watching the original Mickey Mouse Club like I did, so you probably have no idea that Annette had an actual series of her own that was featured in the show...and I can't wait to share it with you now!!

So, the premise is, Annette moves into a new house in a new town (see Episode 1) and mildly humorous, heartwarming adventures ensue...but I thought I'd skip the preliminaries and go directly to MY favorite episode, THE ESCORT, in which she crops her dreary hair and puts something on besides the horrible lacy frock she's been wearing all this time (see Episode 1) in order to 'debut' at a party, escorted by a pre-teen, would-be hoodlum! You're gonna love it, I just know...Enjoy!



See? Now you're dying to watch the next episode...and probably the entire mini-series, right?

The Full Phyllis

It's been six months now since we've lost one of my absolute idols...Phyllis Diller...someone who's always been on my list of 'people living-or-dead I'd like to have over for dinner', and still is! And not just for her pretty face, bad wig and infectious cackle...but because she's a comedy pioneer, a legend and just an amazing person all the way around!

So, if you love her too, and you have an hour to spare, I suggest you take that time to watch this HBO special from 1977! The hilarious Miss Diller pulls out all the stops on this one...not only do you get to hear all her favorite gags, but she also performs two piano pieces at the end of the program! I loved it from start to finish, and I know you will, too! Enjoy, darlings!

Four On The Floor

Darlings, I don't need to remind you how nostalgic I am about 80's fitness videos! The fashions...the hair...the moves that practically guaranteed repetitive motion injury! Sigh...weren't those the days??

So I was thrilled to find this exclusive 80's workout for you fellas that I'm just sure you'll want to watch  (probably safer not to actually try)...over and over again!!  The deep-throated, sexist narration alone is worth your precious time and attention! Trust me!!

Warning!  Please consult your physician if you're not sure your heart can take this!

Whew!  Well, I'm certainly sweaty now, how about you?? After that, I think we all need a nice, smoggy c-o-o-l-d-o-w-n...whaddaya say??

Whoa, Nelly!

Recently unearthed footage of me in my old college days...when I was known as "Nelly Kelly"...partying with my Sorority Sisters! Some things never change, folks, because this totally reminds of this New Year's Eve, when, once again, I was called on to kick up my heels and get the party started!

Wunderbar!

Vintage Nina, darlings!


.....sigh!

Danse de Dior

In this beautifully choreographed gang-bang of a Danse Apache, watch in awe as gorgeous Merian Ganjou gets bossed around and tossed around...yet still comes up smiling!

Here are the Dior Dancers, darlings!

Eroticise!

Slap on some spandex, my darlings...or in this case, just slip into some lacy underthings...pull out the ol' boombox, invite your hottest girlfriends over and let's get ready to EROTICISE!  Fitness was just so much sexier in the 80's, wasn't it?

Cuban Cuties

Speaking of exotic, spicy hot females,...anybody vana go to Havana?

 

Just Another Night...

...at SALON!! Yay!



I'm the one in the pillbox hat!

Beauty Is A Bitch

Wot the fok? This makes three posts today...let's just say I'm making up for lost time, darlings! But...but...I couldn't wait another minute to post this! My pal Tarot Tamara just sent me this link and suh-wears the resemblance between me and Constance Bennett is uncanny...well, I don't know...but I can relate to her frankly fuckin' sassy attitude...what a bitch, huh?? Ya gotta luvver! In any case, I was terriblehhh inspired by this beauty ritual of hers...it's not about dainty and lovely...it's always about the stimulation, isn't it, girls? I think I just found Number 10...watch and learn, bitches. XO

The Blonde and the Beefcake

More blonde ambition! Here we have Vanessa misusing the gym equipment and her beefy bodybuilding buddies, who seem to be getting a kick out of it all...well, most of 'em, anyway. It's true she looks totally trendy with her electric green shorts and sequinned sweatbands...but can you imagine how annoyed the patrons at my local GOLD'S Gym would be if I tried a stunt like this? It's surely a recipe for danger...and I don't just mean the danger of stiffies in spandex! I'm begging you, girls and boys, it may look like all fun and games, but please don't try this at your local gym, GOLD'S or otherwise!

In Bed with Nina

What a lovely Saturday to spend in bed with a pre-punk Nina Hagen! Who cares if she has the sniffles? This has sort of a burlesque feel to it, don'tcha think? Too bad they had to cut a chunk off the end, but it's still lovable enough to post.