Dear Abby

R.I.P. Pauline Phillips...aka Abigail Van Buren...
Dear Abby!

There's never been any other advice columnist for me!! I grew up with Dear Abby's advice in the daily paper, and I'm sure, during those impressionable years of my adolescence, her sage advice unwittingly shaped my perception of most every imaginable social and romantic do and don't, right and wrong, flaw and faux pas! She helped build my bitch muscles! Although, at the time, I don't think I really understood the subtlety and depth of Abby's wit! Case in point...here are a few intriguing letters taken from her book, The Best of Dear Abby, and her sassy responses!

Dear Abby: I've been going steady with this man for six years. We see each other every night. He says he loves me, and I know I love him, but he never mentions marriage. Do you think he's going out with me just for what he can get? GERTIE
Dear Gertie: I don't know. What's he getting?

Dear Abby: My boyfriend is going to be twenty years old next month. I'd like to give him something nice for his birthday. What do you think he'd like? CAROL
Dear Carol: Never mind what he'd like. Give him a tie.

Dear Abby: I know boys will be boys, but my 'boy' is 73 and he's still chasing women. Any suggestions? ANNIE
Dear Annie: Don't worry. My dog has been chasing cars for years, but if he ever caught one, he wouldnt know what to do with it.

Dear Abby: I am 44 years old and I would like to meet a man my age with no bad habits. ROSE
Dear Rose: So would I.

Dear Abby: What's the difference between a wife and a mistress? BESS
Dear Bess: Night and Day.

Let's Bring Back...

Darlings, wouldn't it be heavenly fun to bring back such intriguing, hidden messages with gloves, hankies and parasols...along with many other forgotten customs, fashions and frivolities? Don't you miss some of the cool stuff we had...and especially what we never had? We are not alone! I recently picked up a marvelous book from my everlovin' local library, called "Let's Bring Back", by Lesley M.M.Blume. It's been out about a year now, but I hadn't seen it before, and if you haven't had the pleasure, here's a delightful little teaser that should inspire you hunt it down at your local library or bookseller! Trez Divoon!



You can also check out Lesley's column in the Huffington Post.

Simply Crafty

Simply everybody knows I simply love crafting, so I was simply beside myself with excitement upon discovering Amy Sedaris' cute and colorful craft book, Simple Times, at my local library! This gem is simply chock-full of creative crafts suitable for simply anyone and everyone, even small children, pets, the elderly, the disabled, the bedridden...those who simply never thought they could manage crafting before! Also included is a section on Making Love...a subject which I simply never imagined would be included a craft book, but apparently crafting has a way of making some people simply horny...who knew?

Here's just a sample of one of the simply delightful crafts you will find in Amy's informative...and simply enchanting...book!



Check it out today and soon you'll be feeling simply crafty...and maybe even a little horny!

Blondes on the Loose!

They have more fun...seven days a week!

Calender Girls

These wonderful illustrations by Eulalie are from a book I've had since I was a small child, called The Bumper Book. The bright colors and charming details always made it a favorite of my own kids, too...but in my opinion, this verse, written by Frances Heilprin, seems to involve wa-a-a-a-a-a-ay  too much work...I wish every day was Sunday, even if it does require church-going!

So, I've taken it upon myself to Gamify (or is it Gamorize?) the poem, making it much more appropriate for my own everyday use! Here goes...

Monday: champagne bubbles fly
Tuesday: gimlets, extra dry
Wednesday: Manhattans and martinis
Thursday: sparkling peach Bellinis
Friday: good for Tequila Sunrise
Saturday: made for tall MaiTais
Sunday:  time for a Bloody Mary
After church we sip our sherry.