In My Dreams

Well, well, well, my darlings......!!!
Your Gams has finally returned from her happy hiatus away from Blog-land, I'm glad to see my friends around the world have been checking into my archives while I was out...there's 5 years worth of fun stuff in here! Thanks for hangin' in, kidz! Mwahh!

It's not that I haven't missed you!! Believe me, I HAVE!  But I've just been so darn busy  with my recent 'Maidenform Bra' campaign! * What you see here, my friends, are the results of many  hours of hard work!

* my apologies to Maidenform

There's No Balls Like Snowballs

Hello darlings! The holiday season just wouldn't be the same without a Snowball Fight with Jesus, and that's exactly what we did yesterday afternoon during a special matinee Match Game Re-bar! Your pal Gams was dressed for the occasion...of course! How do you like my polka-dot mini-apron that I stitched together the night before? Cute, huh? I even remembered my mittens!

So, do you think 2 pm on a Sunday is a good time to start the drinks flowing? "Yeth, indeedy!", according to my companion, Dr. Preacher Col. Rufus T. Harenutt, Esquire!
For those about to snowball Jesus, we salute you!!

Our snowballs were only made of foam, but it was certainly a thrill when I beamed good ol' Hay-soos directly in the noggin, almost knocking off his thorny crown! (Don't worry...I'm sure there's no permanent harm.) And, thank God, He really liked my special song written for the occasion...would you like to hear it? Too bad...you only get the lyrics, but if you happen to know that holiday favorite "Have A Holly Jolly Christmas", go ahead and sing along!

It's a snowball fight with Jesus
It's naughty but it's nice...
It's not untoward to hit the Lord
With rock-hard balls of ice!

It's a snowball fight with Jesus
If you think you've got the nerve...
Then Holy Fuck, you'd better duck
He throws a wicked curve!

Yo-ho! The yellow snow! found under a tree
Roll it into a ball, throw it at J.C.!

It's a snowball fight with Jesus
And in case I wasn't clear...
It's alright to have a snowball fight with Jesus this year!

Mwahhhs! to my pal Tamara for the great pics!
Lyrics copyright 2011 Gams Galore

Cover Girl

Well, it certainly doesn't take the media long to get ahold of a story of a smalltown gal and her Blonde Ambition!

Good ol' TIME magazine was right on top of things...then ESQUIRE caught my act...by the way, NO RACCOONS WERE HARMED DURING THIS PHOTOSHOOT!

Thank goodness NEWSWEEK got my good side...and the article on Blonde Ambition and Bad Wigs makes good reading!

In this exclusive issue of GQ (Gams Quarterly?)...read all about Match Game's new season in its new location...Re-bar!  Plu-u-u-s...the gayest guy in the NBA...who could it be?? a-a-a-and...why getting stoned will always be cool, daddy!

Be My Valentine...XOXO!

Career Move

Hey, you...slacker! Yes, I'm talking to you! Tired of sitting around all afternoon watching The People's Court, Jerry Springer reruns, and medical college commercials? Thinking of starting a new career...perhaps in the health field because you like uniforms...especially scrubs? Take it from Dina Martina...you could be collecting stool samples in just a few short months, and getting paid for it!

My Heart Belongs To...

I may indulge
most every bulge
that seems to point in my direction...

But as of late
I hesitate
with where to place my affection...

I simply can't deny
There is one special guy........



Dedicated to the man, the myth, the moustache...Ernie Von Schmaltz!

Coffee Break!

Who wants coffee? I do! I do! This Minglirs commercial, produced by Deirdre Timmons of A Wink and A Smile fame, stars the breathtaking Miss Lily Verlaine! It might make you a little jumpy...and not just because of the coffee, either...please enjoy responsibly! xo