Good Heavens.....

...has it really been over a month since I've GAM-O-RAMA'd?? I even missed my annual PRIDE POST, which breaks my heart! Good thing my archives are filled to bursting with a good five years worth of fun! Every blogger needs a break now and then. For now, I'll try to get you up to speed.

As usual, I've been up to no good in my bad wig! First, I skipped out on the last month of my lease so I could immediately move into my dream apartment (dreams can come true!) Seriously, I basically sneaked out on a Sunday, dropped the keys in the rent box, left my mattress behind the dumpster and called it a day...a good day! Trashy, I know, but at least now I'm happy as a clam...if a clam can be happy, that is.

The following weekend I hosted a "Wine Toss" game at a local Arts Auction Gala! Three rings for 10 bucks and if you ring a bottle, you get to keep it. I was drinking a little of that wine, too, and giving everybody shit, not realizing that these were the city bigwigs and I shouldn't have said that to the Mayor...but how was I to know the Mayor was a young lady?? (Well, not exactly YOUNG young! Younger than me...but who isn't these days?) In any case, we sold a couple cases worth of wine and I got a great big round of applause at the fabulous dinner party that followed. In typical fashion, I stood and blew Hollywood kisses...Thank you all! (especially you, Mayor) Mwahhhhh! MWAHHHH!

The next bee I got in my bonnet was inspired by RuPaul's Drag Race and I thought, if Mama Ru can be an ordained minister and throw impromptu weddings, why can't I? So, friends and sinners, I am now, officially, an Ordained Minister! You may now call me REVEREND GAMS GALORE!

In the State of Washington I can marry ya or bury ya...your choice. Remember, I put the 'fun' in 'Funeral'!

My plan is to buy an old bus and put together a traveling show...THE REVEREND GAMS GALORE and HER TRAVELING MENSTRUAL SHOW! (That's a play on words, folks...and a good one!)

Can I get a 'Hallelujah'?

Mighty Contrite!

Forgive me, for I can't believe I've neglected you this long, my loved ones! It's just that I've been so darn busy lately with a multitude of shows and other personal appearances...you know, all those hardware store openings, baptisms and wedding receptions...plus, it's my busy season for bar mitzvahs...then there's my weekly gig at the local senior center's Bingo/Karaoke night...always a wild time there, I gotta tell ya! With all that, writing a couple new songs and creating a few new additions to my wardrobe...well, I'm sorry, but I just haven't had time to blog...not to mention I've also been deeply involved of late in conducting my own personal experiment to see how much time can be wasted on Facebook...the results are astonishing, to say the least!

At least I have something to show for all this...a whole buncha new pals and some pictures to share with you!

This past Saturday night was my opportunity to wear that glittering gold gown I was telling you about, thanks to my pal Mitzy Sixx...

...and Mitzy's Ditzy Glitzy Variety Show, where I sang one of my most tender love songs, Did You Just Cut A Fart?

Gettaloada that glitz...that glamour...that Golden Gullet!!

Speaking of Golden Gullets, I've also been crazy bizzy planning my upcoming party, Gams Galore's 20,000 Days Under I-5! As of today, I've been alive 19,992 days...and having fun working with Sam of Dynamite Cocktails to compose a G-themed drink menu, including my signature drink, The Golden Gullet! Here's what we've planned so far...

The Golden Gullet ~ Gin, Grapefruit Juice, Grenadine, Ginger Syrup and (edible) golden glitter (Sam makes his own Grenadine, Ginger Syrup and bitters...and they are amazing!)
G-Spots ~ Shots of Fireball...crushed PopRocks around the rim optional
Glitter Shots ~ Limoncello Jello shots with golden glitter
G-Rated ~ Sparkling Golden Cider

So that takes care of the drinking...as for the dancing, I've been compiling remixes of some of my favorite 80's disco dance hits...my darling DJ Gio (named appropriately enough) will be rockin' the house!

I'm terribly excited that a few other friends have said they'd like to perform, as well...I'm soooo lucky to know soooo many talented people!

And prizes! Did I tell you I'll be giving away an amazing array of interesting items, specially selected from my own lifetime accumulation...that's 20,000 days worth of shit! Guests must answer trivia questions...about me, natch...to win these collectibles, but it's all good stuff though...all good...and possibly worth money on eBay! And of course I've written a special musical dedication, this time for myself...that I plan to debut that evening (and that I will share with you in due time, darlings!)  All that and more, with the help of a few wonderful friends...it's shaping up to be a magical evening!

I have so much more to tell you, darlings...as well as some more pictures I'm just dying to share...so I will be back tomorrow, and I promise I won't ever stay away from you so long again! XO!

This Week's Excuse

It's like this, friends...I attended an artsy fartsy party earlier this week and, well...don't ask me how I got into one of the basement lockers in the first place...at the time, I could have sworn it was a stall in the ladies room!

For what seemed like days...weeks...I waited. My only thought was survival! Thankfully, I was able to stave off my thirst by nursing a complimentary flute of champagne...one sip at a time! When the janitor finally rescued me...


...I still looked fabulous despite my harrowing ordeal! Isn't that amazing? You'd never know I'd just had a brush with death! Anyway, given what I've been through, I'll just need a day or two to recover, alright, darlings? I'll be back ayessaypee!