Celebrity Cougar!

One of my self-appointed duties as Belltown Betty is my weekly pilgrimage to that delightful neighborhood so dear to my heart...perhaps to take in a show, then walk the gamut of 2nd Avenue with its sidewalk patios and second-hand smoke, to see who's drinking what where with who! So who do you think Belltown Betty aka Gams Galore, Cougar-at-Large found drinking martinis al fresco with friends on the patio of Belltown's Karma Lounge on a warm Seattle Saturday night? None other than that Queen of Cougars, that Countess of Cradle-Robbers...Mary Kay Letourneau!

Remember her??

I'm happy to report she's come a long way from this scandalous snap...

She did her time, alright...seven and one half years if I remember correctly...I'm sure that extra six months was optimal for proper punishment...but anyway, thank goodness enough time has passed so all that silly scandal about rape is finally over...she ended up marrying her 'victim', after all, and taking his name...so these days she goes by Mary Kay Fualauu, and her husband, Vili, is a DJ...a pretty good one, too, considering he was spinning the swingin' sounds at the Karma that night...yeah, as if I was listening anyway, right?? I was too hella busy being excited about getting a Gams 'n' Pals pic with...I'm not ashamed to say it...one of my idols!

Doesn't she look great?? And I simply must thank one of my best pals, Jane, for having the nerve to go up and speak to our lady Mary about a photo op while my pal Tamara and I stood by gawking and shuffling our feet...Thanks, Janie! Mwah!

These Things Happen

It must be something about the wig...because this totally reminds me of my last Sunday brunch! They all laughed when I said I could do the whole vodka-melon in one sitting...but I showed them!

Cinco de Mayo-My!

¡Ay, caramba! I almost forgot...it's Margarita time!

20K DAY! YAY!

THE GOLDEN GULLET

I'm 20,000 Days Under I-5...
I'm 20,000 Days Under I-5
I've been around the block and I've talked a lotta talk
I've eaten lotsa pizza and I've sucked a lotta cock
I'm much too young to die
But I'm not too old to rock...
I'm 20,000 Days Under I-5 !!

I've had a couple kids, a couple homes, a couple exes...
I've had affairs with those of a couple different sexes
I've been to France and Amsterdam
But I've never been to Texas...
I'm 20,000 Days Under I-5 !!

I once was an executive, for awhile I was a ho...
But I try to keep on smiling where'er my road may go...
I've been featured in a movie
And in many a burlesque show...
I'm 20,000 Days Under I-5 !!

I'm 20,000 Days Under I-5
And I guess I'm pretty lucky to still be alive...
I've tripped on LSD and PCP, Quaaludes and cocaine
I've smoked for over 30 years in this Seattle rain
But I feel like a million bucks
So I really can't complain...
I'm 20,000 Days...20,000 DAYS! (where'd the time go??)
20,000 Days Under I-5 !!

The Golden Gullet designed and photographed by Sam of Dynamite Cocktails...edible golden glitter courtesy of Veronica De Ville!

Mighty Contrite!

Forgive me, for I can't believe I've neglected you this long, my loved ones! It's just that I've been so darn busy lately with a multitude of shows and other personal appearances...you know, all those hardware store openings, baptisms and wedding receptions...plus, it's my busy season for bar mitzvahs...then there's my weekly gig at the local senior center's Bingo/Karaoke night...always a wild time there, I gotta tell ya! With all that, writing a couple new songs and creating a few new additions to my wardrobe...well, I'm sorry, but I just haven't had time to blog...not to mention I've also been deeply involved of late in conducting my own personal experiment to see how much time can be wasted on Facebook...the results are astonishing, to say the least!

At least I have something to show for all this...a whole buncha new pals and some pictures to share with you!

This past Saturday night was my opportunity to wear that glittering gold gown I was telling you about, thanks to my pal Mitzy Sixx...

...and Mitzy's Ditzy Glitzy Variety Show, where I sang one of my most tender love songs, Did You Just Cut A Fart?

Gettaloada that glitz...that glamour...that Golden Gullet!!

Speaking of Golden Gullets, I've also been crazy bizzy planning my upcoming party, Gams Galore's 20,000 Days Under I-5! As of today, I've been alive 19,992 days...and having fun working with Sam of Dynamite Cocktails to compose a G-themed drink menu, including my signature drink, The Golden Gullet! Here's what we've planned so far...

The Golden Gullet ~ Gin, Grapefruit Juice, Grenadine, Ginger Syrup and (edible) golden glitter (Sam makes his own Grenadine, Ginger Syrup and bitters...and they are amazing!)
G-Spots ~ Shots of Fireball...crushed PopRocks around the rim optional
Glitter Shots ~ Limoncello Jello shots with golden glitter
G-Rated ~ Sparkling Golden Cider

So that takes care of the drinking...as for the dancing, I've been compiling remixes of some of my favorite 80's disco dance hits...my darling DJ Gio (named appropriately enough) will be rockin' the house!

I'm terribly excited that a few other friends have said they'd like to perform, as well...I'm soooo lucky to know soooo many talented people!

And prizes! Did I tell you I'll be giving away an amazing array of interesting items, specially selected from my own lifetime accumulation...that's 20,000 days worth of shit! Guests must answer trivia questions...about me, natch...to win these collectibles, but it's all good stuff though...all good...and possibly worth money on eBay! And of course I've written a special musical dedication, this time for myself...that I plan to debut that evening (and that I will share with you in due time, darlings!)  All that and more, with the help of a few wonderful friends...it's shaping up to be a magical evening!

I have so much more to tell you, darlings...as well as some more pictures I'm just dying to share...so I will be back tomorrow, and I promise I won't ever stay away from you so long again! XO!

Dynamite!

This is Sam.

Sam makes cocktails. Big ones, small ones, short ones, tall ones, all shapes, strengths and sizes...in fact, Sam not only creates the cocktails, he creates some of the delicious ingredients that go into the cocktails...like homemade triple sec and grenadine, for instance...but not only does Sam create the cocktails and the ingredients that go into the cocktails, he also takes kitschy pictures of his cocktails and shares his secret ingredients with cocktail lovers like us! Here are just a few samples...

Manhattan DeLuxe... Southern Comfort, dry vermouth and Angostura bitters...I'll take Manhattan!

Remember The Maine...rye, sweet vermouth, Cherry Heering, absinthe...from The Gentlemen's Companion circa 1939! (leave out everything but the absinthe...I'm sure it's quite sophisticated...gag...but besides sucking on the strawberry garnish, I believe I'd rather Forget The Maine...thanks just the same.)

Potted Parrot...white rum, Gran Marnier, OJ, lemon juice, almond extract, homemade pepper-infused maple syrup (that's what I'm talkin' about!) and mint leaves...looks like Lushy luvs it!

Southside Fizz...gin, lemon juice, superfine sugar, lavender-infused club soda, mint leaves...and if you like more of a French 75, substitute champagne for the soda...stiffer, yes...but a breath of lavender sounds like a divine touch, doesn't it?

Tropicala...dry vermouth, white creme de cocoa, maraschino liqueur, orange bitters and Angostura bitters...now all I need is an island, a palm tree and a towel boy!

Wise Old Sage...white rum, Gran Marnier, agave nectar, grapefruit juice, and yes...muddled sage! I bet I could learn a lot by drinking a few of these!

But not only does Sam create cocktails, ingredients and photos of them all, he's also working with yours truly to create a custom Gams Galore cocktail...a Golden Gullet! What a guy! What an inspiration! It prompts me to share the following poem, which I composed during my last futile job search and subsequent drinking binge. Folks...I'm no angel...I give up much too easily and I can live with that...and tho I truly admire those who can stay on that rickety wagon...just don't ask me to go for a ride again. I can barely hang on anyway...last time I kept asking if we were there yet! Here's my Eau'd...


As a lady of leisure
I'm devoted to pleasure
And getting a job? I simply wouldn't hear of it!

But when it comes to libations
I have no reservations
In fact, I've made sort of a career of it.

My name is now synonymous
With Alcoholics Anonymous
My photo's posted in their Hall of Shame...

But I simply can't refuse
A shiny new bottle of booze
So another man's problem shall be my claim to fame!


Hic!

Sam's catering company, Dynamite Cocktails, is featured  in Issue No.1 of Pin-Up Quarterly, Seattle's Girlie Magazine! Check out glamorous drinks while drinking in glamorous gals photographed by RJB Photo!