Match Gams!

Yes, yes, I know. My essay on "What I Did Over The Weekend" is two or three days late. Excuses? I don't need no stinking excuses......and besides, my dog ate it.

So, get over it already, while I tell you all about my experience in the winner's circle at Match Game Belltown's Queer Film Edition ~ a part of last week's SLGFF. As you know, I'm neither L or G, but I am a bona fide disco queen straight from the 80's who was randomly selected to be one of the contestants!



Just why, you ask, would it matter that I'm a vintage disco queen? Because the final round was tied and came down to a dance-off, that's why! And not that my young opponent wasn't worthy, but, honey, everybody knows a gal in blue jeans and Doc Martens just can't bust those disco moves like one in silver spandex leggings and platforms can! Soooo...I WON! I WON!!



Unfamiliar with Match Game? Surely you remember that great old game show hosted by Gene Rayburn, with celebrity regulars like Charles Nelson Reilly and Brett Sommers...where two audience contestants "Get Ready To Match The Stars!" (if you're too young to remember, you can watch excerpts on youtube) Well, Belltown's version is pretty much the same, only totally insane and shamelessly fixed!



Hosted by the virile Richard Rugburn, regulars include 'celebrities' like Nelson Heston Riley, Vincent Drambuie and Carrot Bottom, with a revolving assortment of guest panelists. I, myself enjoyed the antics of panelists OB-GYN Kenobi, Betty Sommers, EmpeROAR Fabulous, Lucky Penny, Nessie Lashes, and Syfelice Navidad.

A guest performance or two was enjoyed between rounds. This is always special, and I'm proud to say that yours truly, Gams Galore, was lucky enough to be one of the performing celebrity panelists on last year's God's Good Green Earth edition. Since it had a green theme, I performed my tribute to Michael Phelps and his bong...Hashpipe! (And I have to confess that because I was just the teensiest bit wasted after hanging about the green room, I flubbed a line...I know, I know...but, naturally, I salvaged it with my razor-sharp quick-wittedness, so all was well and my song and I met with avid audience approval! Phew!)



I love a winner, though...especially when it's me! As such, I was presented with a bag chock-full of terrific prizes with a "Vegas" theme: the "Vegas Showdown" game! A silver slot machine drink dispenser! A slot machine bank with real bell action sounds! Playing cards! (curiously, nudie girls and presidential portraits...) A canned ham! A Best of Match Game DVD set! Another DVD of the most fabulous movie ever made, Vegas in Space! A Match Game Belltown T-shirt! Free tickets to a couple shows! A box of Massengil Douche! All in a snappy shopping tote, perfect for my next trip to Rite-Aid for cheap red wine! Thanks, Match Game Belltown for a helluva good time...again! Love, Gams

(ps all pics except top one credited to Debora Spencer)