The good thing about fathers on Fathers Day...unlike mothers on Mothers Day...is that they don't really seem to notice, or care, whether you give them a gift or not. Yet deep down inside you know Dad would be pretty darn tickled if you tried to make a great impression on him for a change! May I suggest one of the following gifts that are sure to please...
If you're not worried about giving Dad his gift
today, perhaps you could give a corny card to tide him over while you order him his very own
Bad Dad custom-designed
Kawasaki!
If you don't have that kind of cash on hand...or a golden motorcycle just isn't practical, for whatever reason...then perhaps these golden money bag
cufflinks would be a more appropriate gift for that grand o' guy! Especially impressive at poker parties, strip clubs, and all-night casinos...if only Mom would let Dad
go to those kinds of places...
Don'tcha know every darn Dad in the US of A dreams of a custom-made bowling pin, whether he's a bowler or not! This dynamite
Daddy-O one is beautifully done and costs a fortune, but with a little imagination and a smidge of artistic talent you could design a special one for your Daddy! Didn't he teach you to be resourceful?
In a hurry and need something tonight? This tempting bacon-topped apple pie is quick 'n' easy! Obviously you don't have time to bake the pie from scratch right now...but it doesn't matter...Dad won't notice! Run right down to any bakery and pick up a fresh-baked apple pie, or if you must, find a decent frozen one. Fry eight slices of bacon and arrange them atop the pie in a basket-weave pattern. If you've been forced to choose a frozen pie, it can be baking in the oven while you fry the bacon to a golden brown...either way you
score!!
In an even bigger hurry? How about a big wad of cash? Every Dad appreciates money...by George, he's worked his whole life to put food in your belly and send you to college...now it's time to show him you've learned the fine art of reciprocation! This gift looks especially nice if presented with the largest bill showing. Dad will be so thrilled he might even spring for dinner and drinks!
Happy Fathers Day to all you adorable Dads out there!
Mwah!
