A veritable feast of fetishes...this legshow trio from the 40's seems to have a seamier side...or do I just have a dirty mind??
The first segment, MALE ORDER, makes me wonder: who is this fellow, Ted Jones, anyway? What could he possibly do for a living that would afford him a delivery of not one mail-order bride, but five? (OmiGosh! they spelled Oshkosh "Oskosh" b'gosh!) And another thing: just who were these packages *Inspected* by? What prompted Ted to pick blonde Betty and send the rest packing? Was it her dancing skills...or something else? And what became of those other boxed beauties after their dismissal? The song says *pick the one you like best, and then return the rest*, but did they have proper return postage? Or did they hang around the post office for 90 days before being destroyed? I wonder.
The second segment, AT YOUR SERVICE, explores a novel idea: the Drive-In-Lap-Dance-Order...or DILDO. (I made that one up myself!) Apparently these tray-totin' trollops are always at your service. I think the lyrics should have gone:
'Some are dumb and some are wise'
Say yum-yum, here's your surprise
With this shake you'll get some thighs
Cuz we're always at your service!
The last selection, PLAYMATES, is the naughtiest of them all! This is the adult-baby segment...upskirts, ruffled panties, bobby sox and pigtails...here we have a dapper young fellow's song-and-dance wet dream...he's barely able to keep his hands to himself with happy-go-lucky girls making lewd suggestions such as climbing up their appletrees, looking down their rain barrels and into their cellar doors. Tragically, the gaiety is overshadowed by the sorrow of an unwed teenage mother who can't come out to play. Sheesh! how frankly spankly can they get?
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