You may not know this, darlings, but your Gams has pure, grass-fed Irish blood simply coursing through her veins, as well as being well-versed (so to speak) at the art of the limerick! So, luckily for you, I'm sharing here the merkin-themed limericks I wrote especially for the show! For instance...
A fancy young lady from France
Had a curious bulge in her pants
She said, "Please don't stare!"
Yet, I wonder what's there?
Could it be a merkin, by chance??
Or how about this one?
A plucky young fellow named Chucky
Always thought that his merkin was lucky
He said, "Laugh if you wish,
But someday I'll be rich!"
Now he owns a racehorse in Kentucky!
This one's the stupidest of them, I think...but the audience loved it!
A well-endowed young lad was smirkin'
Because his 'shelalagh' was herkin
He said "Don't be fickle,
Take a look at this pickle!"
And I said.........."Get a merkin for that herkin gherkin!"
If you have a herkin' gherkin, enhance it with a merkin!
Since I was hosting, I figured I needed a little touch of magic, so I fashioned a green, lighted merkin that I flashed on at the end of the program!
And here is the limerick that went with it...
A Glamorous Gal from O'Firken
Had a costume that just wasn't workin'
But Fortune was smiling
And with some fashionable styling...(lift my skirt to reveal merkin!)
It worked...with the LUCK... (lights on!!) ...O'THE MERKIN! (Crowd goes wild!!!)
And finally, one that didn't make the cut...
A clever young Irish colleen
Made a merkin of green for a queen
Tho' it would o' been duller
in some other color
The Queen thought that green was obscene.
Copyright 2013 Gams Galore
