Aaand...the old PLAYBILL from the Winter Garden Theatre's production of MAME!...remember when???
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Marquee Post
Found! My long-lost Marquee Lights!
Aaand...the old PLAYBILL from the Winter Garden Theatre's production of MAME!...remember when???
Aaand...the old PLAYBILL from the Winter Garden Theatre's production of MAME!...remember when???
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Galore Lore
Long time no see, you darling darlings, you! I haven't dropped off the planet quite yet...it's just that I was sooooo busy putting together my first solo show...
...which I'm thrilled to say went swimmingly...despite last-minute difficulties! It was so much fun, in fact, that I'm going to try doing it again in a couple months, hopefully with better attendance......ahem. Aaaaanyway...the show centered around the UNAUTHORIZED Story of My Life, set to eight of my biggest top-forty hits!! (Well, they should be top-forty hits!)
Lucky for you, I can share a little bit of the Galore Lore with you right here and now! Here are the pictures I shared from My Golden Gams Memory Album...chockful of Golden Gams Memories!! You'll just have to imagine me singing, ok?
Let's begin at the beginning, shall we?? Here's my baby picture...
You can already see the confusion in my eyes, can't you? It wasn't an easy childhood folks...raised on the mean streets...of Mercer Island, Washington...(the South End!)...nothing but trouble there...
As a youngster, I was put in the luggage compartment of a Greyhound bus bound for Hollywood...where a kindly television family, who happened to have their own bus, discovered me and took me in...
...but only until the season was over...then, of course, the old story...shuffled from one family to another...
...and another...
Fortunately, the one thing I had going for me this whole time were my extremely well-developed leg muscles...which is why, of course, they called me Gams Galore!!
But these gams were made for walkin', folks...and soon enough I found myself back on the streets. I did a little modeling for awhile...
...I even did a Santa Clause gig one long, cold winter...
But, rough as they were...the streets are where I learned most of my seductive skills and vampy ways! So it wasn't a total loss.
Yet, even us vamps can fall prey to Cupid's Arrow when it goes whizzing by...and sure enough, wouldn't you know I'd fall head over heels crazy nuts in love with exactly the wrong guy!
I don't know what I was thinking...I knew it would never work! Why did I have to go there??..Even today his presence haunts me!
But...time heals all wounds and I did end up meeting and marrying a nice, clean-cut Man with a Mullet...
Yes, Mullet...(I always called him Mullet)...and I were very happy together for many years...he got me to finally settle down long enough to have a few kids! Here's a picture of them when they were youngsters...
See that family resemblance?? Uncanny. Motherhood was wonderful, of course...my only regret is that those crazy kids and their breastfeeding frenzies sucked the life right outta my tits! In fact...just look at this "Before" picture of my breasts back in the day...
I can't even come close to that now...even with the proper foundation garments! Pitiful...
Oh well...time and tits march on. And now that the kiddies are all grown and have flown the coop to follow their own dreams, I've had a chance to concentrate on my own singing career, and realize my lifelong dream of following the Pageant Circuit! As you may remember...until this August, at least...I am still the reigning Queen of Belltown, your Belltown Betty!
So, that brings us up to the present time, friends...and I look forward to a happy future ahead of me. I'll be turning 56 this year and am already thrilling to the joy of senior discounts!
It's good to be Gams!
...which I'm thrilled to say went swimmingly...despite last-minute difficulties! It was so much fun, in fact, that I'm going to try doing it again in a couple months, hopefully with better attendance......ahem. Aaaaanyway...the show centered around the UNAUTHORIZED Story of My Life, set to eight of my biggest top-forty hits!! (Well, they should be top-forty hits!)
Lucky for you, I can share a little bit of the Galore Lore with you right here and now! Here are the pictures I shared from My Golden Gams Memory Album...chockful of Golden Gams Memories!! You'll just have to imagine me singing, ok?
Let's begin at the beginning, shall we?? Here's my baby picture...
You can already see the confusion in my eyes, can't you? It wasn't an easy childhood folks...raised on the mean streets...of Mercer Island, Washington...(the South End!)...nothing but trouble there...
As a youngster, I was put in the luggage compartment of a Greyhound bus bound for Hollywood...where a kindly television family, who happened to have their own bus, discovered me and took me in...
...but only until the season was over...then, of course, the old story...shuffled from one family to another...
...and another...
Fortunately, the one thing I had going for me this whole time were my extremely well-developed leg muscles...which is why, of course, they called me Gams Galore!!
But these gams were made for walkin', folks...and soon enough I found myself back on the streets. I did a little modeling for awhile...
...I even did a Santa Clause gig one long, cold winter...
But, rough as they were...the streets are where I learned most of my seductive skills and vampy ways! So it wasn't a total loss.
Yet, even us vamps can fall prey to Cupid's Arrow when it goes whizzing by...and sure enough, wouldn't you know I'd fall head over heels crazy nuts in love with exactly the wrong guy!
I don't know what I was thinking...I knew it would never work! Why did I have to go there??..Even today his presence haunts me!
But...time heals all wounds and I did end up meeting and marrying a nice, clean-cut Man with a Mullet...
Yes, Mullet...(I always called him Mullet)...and I were very happy together for many years...he got me to finally settle down long enough to have a few kids! Here's a picture of them when they were youngsters...
See that family resemblance?? Uncanny. Motherhood was wonderful, of course...my only regret is that those crazy kids and their breastfeeding frenzies sucked the life right outta my tits! In fact...just look at this "Before" picture of my breasts back in the day...
I can't even come close to that now...even with the proper foundation garments! Pitiful...
Oh well...time and tits march on. And now that the kiddies are all grown and have flown the coop to follow their own dreams, I've had a chance to concentrate on my own singing career, and realize my lifelong dream of following the Pageant Circuit! As you may remember...until this August, at least...I am still the reigning Queen of Belltown, your Belltown Betty!
So, that brings us up to the present time, friends...and I look forward to a happy future ahead of me. I'll be turning 56 this year and am already thrilling to the joy of senior discounts!
It's good to be Gams!
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Fun Fundraising
Darlings, I'm so excited to be telling you that tomorrow night I'll be hosting a fundraiser for The Burlesque Hall of Fame Legends Challenge...
...where we'll be raising money to send our fabulous friend, Velvet Ice...
...off to Las Vegas for the BHOF Weekend coming up in June!! Velvet Ice is billed as one of the "Titans of Tease"....along with "The Untouchable" Ellion Ness and too many other amazing living legends to name! Take a look at them gams, my friends...who'da guessed they've been struttin' their stuff since the 70's?? Sensational!!
I was lucky enough to meet both these beautiful "Living Legends" at last year's BurlyCon...here's the pic...which proves, without a doubt, that burlesque performers, glamour...aaand Blonde Ambition...are timeless!...ageless!! Right, darlings?
You can find out more...more...and so much more by visiting BHOF Weekend 2012!
Now...whatevahhhh shall I wear???
Velvet Ice photo courtesy Chris Blakeley
...where we'll be raising money to send our fabulous friend, Velvet Ice...
...off to Las Vegas for the BHOF Weekend coming up in June!! Velvet Ice is billed as one of the "Titans of Tease"....along with "The Untouchable" Ellion Ness and too many other amazing living legends to name! Take a look at them gams, my friends...who'da guessed they've been struttin' their stuff since the 70's?? Sensational!!
I was lucky enough to meet both these beautiful "Living Legends" at last year's BurlyCon...here's the pic...which proves, without a doubt, that burlesque performers, glamour...aaand Blonde Ambition...are timeless!...ageless!! Right, darlings?
Now...whatevahhhh shall I wear???
Velvet Ice photo courtesy Chris Blakeley
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Cocktail Pick
Presenting, for your eyes only! My newest costume is fit for...Antipasto!...or your Auntie's Antipasto...and if your Auntie wears your panties while enjoying Antipasto, all the better!
This is what I've designed for the premiere performance of my newest character...that Hot Li'l Piece o' Paisano.....
Fifi Kalamata! Take note of those tasty red satin 'pimentos' and sparkling green gems...and as you can see, I wasn't stingy with the fringy...look at that swing! Bing-bada-bing!
Well, twist my swizzle stick! How about this snappy cap for garnish? You can't see the tasty insides but it's lined with that same sassy red satin as the pimientos! Mangia bene!
Yes, friends...I realize a Kalamata is actually a blackish-brown olive with a smooth, meaty texture named after the city of Kalamata in southern Greece...
...but that's no fun, is it? I prefer the snappy green Spanish variety with juicy red pimientos winkin' atcha...
But, who is this Fifi Kalamata anyway?? Is she French? Oui! Italian? Sì! Greek? Vαί! Pickled in brine?? Why, she's the Hot Tomata make ya glad she's not ya dotta! She's the Senorita t'which the boys all beat their meat-a! Not only does she really know how to move her moussaka, but you should see what she can do with the Mambo Italiano, a buncha balloons and one very sharp olive pick!
I know what you're thinking, darlings! "Great gnobs of gnocchi, Gams! You really know how to pick 'em!!"
This is what I've designed for the premiere performance of my newest character...that Hot Li'l Piece o' Paisano.....
Fifi Kalamata! Take note of those tasty red satin 'pimentos' and sparkling green gems...and as you can see, I wasn't stingy with the fringy...look at that swing! Bing-bada-bing!
Well, twist my swizzle stick! How about this snappy cap for garnish? You can't see the tasty insides but it's lined with that same sassy red satin as the pimientos! Mangia bene!
Yes, friends...I realize a Kalamata is actually a blackish-brown olive with a smooth, meaty texture named after the city of Kalamata in southern Greece...
...but that's no fun, is it? I prefer the snappy green Spanish variety with juicy red pimientos winkin' atcha...
But, who is this Fifi Kalamata anyway?? Is she French? Oui! Italian? Sì! Greek? Vαί! Pickled in brine?? Why, she's the Hot Tomata make ya glad she's not ya dotta! She's the Senorita t'which the boys all beat their meat-a! Not only does she really know how to move her moussaka, but you should see what she can do with the Mambo Italiano, a buncha balloons and one very sharp olive pick!
I know what you're thinking, darlings! "Great gnobs of gnocchi, Gams! You really know how to pick 'em!!"
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