Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Don't Mess With Mademoiselle!

Yet another thrilling Danse Apache...and this time the lady gets the last laugh!



Who are The Crazy Gang anyway?

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Hoozya Mama?

So I was dinkin' around YouTube and discovered what I believe could be the finest, most touching song about mothers ever written! Say...why not call your Mom right now and ask her to watch with you??

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Fast Fashion

Last night's Seattle Erotic Art Festival was one helluva swanky, spanky party...I've never seen so many corsets in one room...and this glamorous gal was sportin' one of 'em! Matter of fact, I'm terriblehhh proud of the costume I threw together at the last minute with only pennies to spare!

Fortunately, I just happened to have some beautiful fabric laying around...sheer black georgette with a shimmering velvety red rose print...


...which I turned into a long split skirt. I cut a couple extra scraps of it and covered the cups of my black strapless bra...just a few hand stitches around the edge so I can undo it later.


I took another scrap and wrapped it around a little plastic hat form to make a tiny pillbox with a big red feather!


Next, my trusty black satin corset that I got at least ten years ago...one of those wardrobe investments that just keeps paying off! Black fishnets...long black gloves...my favorite boots...a vintage black velvet capelet...sparkly red earrings...red lipstick...a glass of white wine....et voilĂ !


Gamalamadingdong!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Rapture-Ready!







Flowing White Robe: check! Doc Martens: check! If you need me after tonite, I'll be hangin' up here with Joey, Kurt and Sid! Simply heavenly, darlings!








Saturday, May 14, 2011

Friday, May 13, 2011

Losing My Marbles?

I could have sworn I posted this already...and I don't remember scrubbing it...could I have a phantom blog-thief? Or am I losing my marbles??

I could have sworn I just told you about the outcome of our little Mother's Day prank...how our friendly neighbor Brian rose to the occasion and graffiti'd his shirt as we had his fence? I just know I did!



And then I put up a smooch pic...like this one...


One fashion tip I forgot to mention before...did you know you can turn a pink bob wig into an unappealing pink mullet simply by wearing it upside-down?

Good Answer!

Introducing my newest Tumblr page...
Good Answer...Filling in the blanks of life...doesn't that have a pleasant ring to it? Enjoy an ongoing selection of orange answer cards once used as celebrity answers on my favorite local gameshow, Match Game Belltown! From whimsical to raunchy, you're sure to find the answer you're looking for today!


Sometimes a question is the answer...or is it the other way around?

Monday, May 9, 2011

The Girls of Salon

I have to keep you up to date on my growing collection of posters, don't I?





Here's my latest...I just finished it and love it with all my heart! Painting by Otto Dix... HubbaHubba!

Hi Mom!

I can't spend Mother's Day with my mom anymore, but I thought you'd like to hear what a great day I had with my two daughters! We started things off at Pastor Kaleb's Sunday Service and Mother's Day Brunch, featuring Match Game Belltown's Pastor Kaleb!  My co-MILFs Lana Lure and Beaux Djangles were also in attendance...each with a daughter of their own...and we were treated to a memorable sermon and a tasty brunch prepared by Chef Eric Padget...each plate prepared with loving care - just like mom - including fresh baked biscuits topped with a savory sausage gravy, fluffy scrambled eggs, sizzling sausage links, roasted red potatoes, fresh and plump fruits, and perfectly poached eggs benny!  I enjoyed mine with a tasty Bloody Mary, natch.

Refreshed and ready for anything, we gals trekked across town to have a terriblehhh civilized afternoon tea at the Bunny Ranch with the legendary Mister Angelo...you can call him Angelo. It was a beautiful day...for a change...and simply sensational soaking in some sun while swooning to the strains of angelic Angelo and his amazing accordian!


 And of course, no Mother's Day would be complete without rounding up the kiddies and spending a little quality time vandalizing private property! This arty little house...


...had this big, long, empty fence running down the side, see?...and we couldn't help ourselves, see?...and we happened to know that the owner was out of town visiting his mom. Naturally, we wanted to let him know that we'd stopped by. So we decorated his fence for him...just a little dab o'color to brighten it up...


Do you know how hard it is to take away a can of spray paint from a five-year-old girl once you've shown her how it works...or a fifteen-year-old girl...or a fifty-year-old girl? I don't want to say things may have gotten a little out of hand...but things may have gotten a little out of hand...


Hope he likes it! Oh, and by the way, I haven't the slightest idea who this person is...


...looks like trouble...come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I saw that mug on the Post Office wall recently!

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Cherry Pic'n Time

Take a peek at these sexy stills taken by Joriah Goad at a Thursday night artwalk...his newest Manic Expressionism portrait...this time featuring my divine, drag-lovin' darling, Cherry Sur Bete!














See? I told you anytime is the right time for Cherry! Read the dishy details here!

Friday, May 6, 2011

Tramps and Vamps

I can't believe I've lived as long as I have without knowing this movie existed...Good To See You Again, Alice Cooper! Thrill to piano smashing! Destruction via a pink bulldozer! Leopard-print thigh-high platform boots! And one of my favorite tunes ~ The Lady is a Tramp!



Which reminds me...I actually REWROTE the lyrics to this song to suit my own particular tastes, and I'd like to share them with you now if I may. It goes a little somethin' like this:

I've never dined at Mickey D's
Burger King or Sonic
In fact, sometimes I'll skip the food
And have a gin and tonic

A Glamorous Gal with Gams like these is lazy as a rule
And knows a couple secrets that they didn't teach in school

Although I rarely do the things I should
I make sure that I do 'em lookin' good...

I get so horny at 7 or 8
I love a party and stayin' out late
I know these legs are some dangerous bait
That's why the Lady is a Vamp!

I like strip poker with Barons and Earls
Just give me lingerie, perfume and pearls
I'm proud to say I'm one of 'those' kind of girls
That's why the Lady is a Vamp!

I like to keep men under my heel
What's the big deal?
Me?? a SLUT? So what!!
Hate exercising ~ it gives me a cramp
That's why the Lady is a Vamp!

Never wear blue jeans or my hair in a net
I love Dom Perignon with a French cigarette
Though men have chased me they ain't caught me yet
That's why the Lady is a Vamp!

I get my claws done each Friday at 4
I don't like ballgames - I think they're a bore
There's only one game where I like to score
That's why the Lady is a Vamp!

I like to keep boys strictly for play
What can I say?
Me? a tease? Oh, please!!!
Love misbehavin' ~ cuz I'm kind of a scamp
That's why the Lady is a Vamp!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Beauty Is A Bitch

Wot the fok? This makes three posts today...let's just say I'm making up for lost time, darlings! But...but...I couldn't wait another minute to post this! My pal Tarot Tamara just sent me this link and suh-wears the resemblance between me and Constance Bennett is uncanny...well, I don't know...but I can relate to her frankly fuckin' sassy attitude...what a bitch, huh?? Ya gotta luvver! In any case, I was terriblehhh inspired by this beauty ritual of hers...it's not about dainty and lovely...it's always about the stimulation, isn't it, girls? I think I just found Number 10...watch and learn, bitches. XO

Cinco de Mayo-My!

¡Ay, caramba! I almost forgot...it's Margarita time!

The Luxe of LUX

9 out of 10 Screen Stars use it!

JOAN BENNETT!

ALICE FAYE!


LORETTA YOUNG!

JUDY GARLAND!

ANN SHERIDAN!

OLIVIA de HAVILLAND!

BARBARA STANWYCK!

MAE WEST!

GAMS GALORE!

I wonder who the 10th one is?