Friday, January 29, 2010

My Bleu Bijoux


I'll put it on someday
Come what may
My bleu bijoux...


Wearing jewels these fine
Makes me feel divine
My bleu bijoux...


With a silken scarf
Out on the town ~
Silver gloves and an evening gown...


I'll never be blue
My dreams come true...
with bleu bijou~ou~ou~oux!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

A Shot of Drambuie

Today my 'tube features a man who needs no introduction...but I'll give him one anyway! He's a dapper gentleman-about-town and a regular on Match Game Belltown, where I myself have had an opportunity or two to rub elbows (and knees) with him...and let's not forget to mention that he hosts the Pretty Things Peepshow, who are taking their tassels on the road starting this month, and coming to a town near YOU!

Here he is, lookin' like he might be gettin' lucky with the ladies...or not...
Vincent Drambuie!

Friday, January 22, 2010

Happy Hour!

T.G.I.F.!!! The Tiki Bar is OPEN!

First, let's get you out of those stuffy work clothes and into a nice Hawaiian Aloha shirt...


Next, kick off dem shoes and kick back with a cocktail or two...





Top it off with a little surfin' music and some wicked wahinis!!
It's Tiki Time!



(Recipes for the glam cocktails pictured can be found here
and many more Aloha Shirts can be found here!)

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Why Don'tcha?


Here's a goddess I love to worship...the goddess Diana...Diana Vreeland, that is! For her daring vision...her impeccable taste...her eclectic eye...her sensational style sense...her chutzpa! Back in the 30's-40's, when she wrote for Harper's Bazaar, D.V. created an exceptionally popular column called "Why Don't You?" Her suggestions were colorful, outrageous, and uninhibitedly glamorous!

Not long ago I found a rare Bazaar photo/article anthology ~ copyright 1913-1967 ~ at the Children's Orthopedic Hospital Thrift Store. This lovely volume...bound in purple!...features: "100 years of the American female - the sumptuous - the expensive - the precious - the moneyed - the luxe - the tasteful - the opulent - and the amusing woman from Bazaar"...and includes an entire page of D.V.'s trendy tips! Charming as ever, but some of her suggestions were rah-thah provincial, dah-ling!

I decided to channel the glamorous ghost of Mrs. Vreeland for her blessing, and having done so, I've now taken her suggestions one sensational step further by enhancing a few of her wonderfully original visions to suit today's tastes! And so...with no further ado, may I ask...

Why Don'tcha?...

..."sweep into the drawing-room on your first big night with an enormous red-fox muff of many skins?" G.G. suggests stopping everyone in their tracks by showing up in a snazzy red faux-chinchilla wrap!


..."remember how delicious champagne cocktails are after tennis or golf? Indifferent champagne can be used for these." G.G. suggests not settling for indifferent...how about some potent potables with Pinky Vodka instead?


..."knit yourself a little skullcap?" G.G. hears that crocheting is easier than knitting and suggests creating a pair of dainty pink gloves like these: (or D.V.'s favorite: violet mittens!)


..."tie black tulle bows on your wrists?" G.G. thinks you'll cause a helluva lot more excitement by wearing rhinestone-encrusted brass knuckles instead!


..."put all your dogs in bright yellow collars and leads like all the dogs in Paris?" G.G. suggests Fido flaunt his furry fashion sense in a bright orange jogging suit!


...and to top it off, howzabout one of these colorful, snappy caps? These are certainly nothin' to sniff at!



If you don't know much about the divine Mrs.V but wish you did..."Why Don'tcha?" check this article out? xo

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Pick a Pair o' Pasties

During the creation of my very first burlesque costume, I enlisted the help of Miss Indigo Blue to make my pasties ~ feathery green puffs to match the trim on my pink-and-green-bird-lady costume. I wasn't sure how to go about it and figured she could do a much better job than I. Tragically, one was misplaced in all the post-performance excitement! What to do?? Well, since I still had a bit of green boa trim, I set about with my trusty glue-gun to create a duplicate...and here's the result...hopefully you can't tell which is which!


Anyway, since then, I've had occasion to make a few other pairs for various acts and found they can actually be a fun afternoon project...a little something to bring to your next stitch-n-bitch! This pair is one of my favorites...I created these to go along with my Dirty Dolly act...


Some others I've made boast sequins, pleather and rhinestones, even a pair with moss and fake spiders for a Halloween-themed act! I searched around and found some other great creative ideas like these:




Or how about chocolate peanut butter pasties? Somebody was really thinkin' here...but I imagine they would get kinda melty after wearing 'em awhile...hmmm...


Recently, while trying out some new ideas, I put together this perky pink leopard & marabou one as a prototype...


Glamour Puss thought was so cute, she decided to wear it as a fashionable hat! We dressed up in more pink feathers, opened a bottle o' BITCH Bubbly and made a little video for you!



You can find some e-z instructions on how to make your own fabulous pasties here! Have fun, kittens! xo

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Dutch Treat

Yummmm-mmy! Delicious footage from the 2009 Amsterdam Burlesque Fest for you, my darlings!! Eat up!



Perhaps you'll recognize a few of the fabulous faces I noted in this previous post!

I especially liked the quote from Miss Inga Ingenue about her first time in Amsterdam...a sentiment I myself have embraced ever since my first visit there..."I'm so in love with this city! I can't wait to come back!" xoxo

Thursday, January 7, 2010

What's the Occasion?

Whatever it is, you'll need an evening bag, preferably a clutch...and here are three lovely examples I found for a song on my latest thrifting adventure! First we have a ladylike, lace-covered, zippered pouch...


Peekaboo! There's another case inside, which could hold your reading glasses, or you could actually use it as a classy case for cigs and a lighter. This lace-over-sateen creation is in good shape, if a little boring. A nice dip in a bath of RIT dye...perhaps Tangerine, Pearl Gray or Mauve...would give her a new lease on life, don'tcha think?


The next bag doesn't mesh around...it's got a snappy closure and a clear plastic divider to keep your money separate from your makeup, or your condoms separate from your compact. The signature inside says Whiting & Davis, which was a thrilling discovery once I googled 'em and found out how incredibly pricey their creations really are! Not mine, though...at $1.99, I was able to purchase this classy clutch for about 1% of the original cost!




Last but not least...every glimmery glamoury gal-about-town needs a sensational satin sparkling sequinned and beaded bag like this one...it's *HANDMADE IN HONG KONG* and ready to take on the world...no special occasion necessary.


Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Menage a` Tube

A veritable feast of fetishes...this legshow trio from the 40's seems to have a seamier side...or do I just have a dirty mind??



The first segment, MALE ORDER, makes me wonder: who is this fellow, Ted Jones, anyway? What could he possibly do for a living that would afford him a delivery of not one mail-order bride, but five? (OmiGosh! they spelled Oshkosh "Oskosh" b'gosh!) And another thing: just who were these packages *Inspected* by? What prompted Ted to pick blonde Betty and send the rest packing? Was it her dancing skills...or something else? And what became of those other boxed beauties after their dismissal? The song says *pick the one you like best, and then return the rest*, but did they have proper return postage? Or did they hang around the post office for 90 days before being destroyed? I wonder.

The second segment, AT YOUR SERVICE, explores a novel idea: the Drive-In-Lap-Dance-Order...or DILDO. (I made that one up myself!) Apparently these tray-totin' trollops are always at your service. I think the lyrics should have gone:

'Some are dumb and some are wise'
Say yum-yum, here's your surprise
With this shake you'll get some thighs
Cuz we're always at your service!

The last selection, PLAYMATES, is the naughtiest of them all! This is the adult-baby segment...upskirts, ruffled panties, bobby sox and pigtails...here we have a dapper young fellow's song-and-dance wet dream...he's barely able to keep his hands to himself with happy-go-lucky girls making lewd suggestions such as climbing up their appletrees, looking down their rain barrels and into their cellar doors. Tragically, the gaiety is overshadowed by the sorrow of an unwed teenage mother who can't come out to play. Sheesh! how frankly spankly can they get?

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Not For Vampires Only!

Friends, have you been racking your adorable brains trying to figure out what to do with all those left-over coffins you have laying around?? Well, leave it to your pal Gams to come up with just the thing...custom-made coffin couches! If you, despite Twilight...or perhaps because of it, can't get enough vampire-abilia and have a few extra bucks laying around after the holidays...then sink your fangs into these!